Thursday, August 13, 2009

PART 3: CRITIQUE AND REVIEW (part IV)

The final part of storyboard expert Karen J Lloyd's review of the Scapula board. Here's Karen:

Then the others just casually walk out of the cells. Hmm. Then it ends with what looks like a line of dialogue that isn’t included. If there is supposed to be some, add it (unless you were going to in the final version). It would be better if dialogue wasn’t needed though.

Since it’s a portfolio piece, I would play with this section some more. Can you add more obstacles for Skapula? Lasers in the room? More tricks out of his bag? Can you use more action and suspense for the final break out? Some kind of ‘time is running out’ kind of thing?

Maybe other guards are on the way. An alarm could go off after he smashes the panel with the hammer. Then through a series of short, inventive (or funny) events, he gets his buddies out in the nick of time.

This will be much more fun to look at in a portfolio. And show off your skills a bit more.



All in all, great draftsmanship with fun characters and a good grasp of visual storytelling. You just need to bring it more to “we’re making a real cartoon here” to take it further away from “comic-land”.

As I tell everyone who get a critique from me, it’s still your choice what to change and what to keep. These are just my professional and personal opinions.

(But of course, I’m right. *ahem*)

Pump up the ending a bit and you’ll have a solid piece to show off your great skills.


So let's all give a big round of applause for Karen and her long-winded but well-minded thoughts! Yaaaaay! Again, remember folks, Karen does this for a living, so if you have a storyboard for an animation, film or whatnot in the works it may be worth your while to send it her way.

KAREN J LLOYD, Visual Storytelling Insights, Tips & Advice for Anyone Who's Interested


Our next step is the revision, which we'll begin next time. Tune in!

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